Feeling Stuck in Chronic Pain Recovery?
A Gentle, Practical Guide
Photo by Aubrey Odom on Unsplash
If you’re doing your best and the pain still loops back, please know this first: you’re not failing. Your nervous system is trying to keep you safe the only way it knows how. With time, kinder fuel, and a lighter load, it can learn safety again.
In my practice I meet brilliant, dedicated people every week. They’ve read the books, tried the techniques, kept going and still feel trapped. The hardest part is how quickly they turn the blame on themselves. If this sounds familiar, I want you to know that this work is hard and it is not your fault.
This is your roadmap to get unstuck in chronic pain recovery without hunting for the next miracle tool.
Does any of this sound familiar?
The Monday morning migraine. The weekend was peaceful, headache almost gone. Then Sunday night arrives, you feel a familiar tension manifest itself and by Monday morning, the familiar throb is back. "I was doing so well... what did I do wrong? What's wrong with me?"
The fibromyalgia flare cycle. You've been moving gently, sleeping better, managing stress. Then one "off" day turns into a week-long flare, and shame whispers: "You've ruined all your progress."
The back pain freeze. Daily movement feels fine but certain twists still feel dangerous, so your body braces before you even move, creating the very tension that triggers pain. "I should have been more careful."
None of this means you're broken. It means your nervous system has been on guard duty for so long, it's forgotten how to stand down.
The Bathtub You Can't See: Why Pain Gets Loud
Think of your nervous system as a bathtub with multiple taps running and a drain that's partially blocked.
The Taps (What Fills the Bath)
Life stress: Work deadlines, relationship tensions, financial worries, health concerns
Past experiences: Childhood trauma, previous injuries, medical disappointments
Self-induced stress: People-pleasing, perfectionism, harsh self-criticism, catastrophic thinking
The Hidden Inputs (Often Overlooked)
Suppressed and repressed emotions: Unexpressed anger, grief, anxiety, or sadness
Lifestyle factors: Poor sleep, over/under-activity, social isolation
Pain-related behaviors: Avoiding movement, constantly checking symptoms, fear-based decisions
The Overflow (What You See and Feel)
When the bathtub overflows, muscles tighten, nociception (pain signals) switches on, and the brain predicts danger - resulting in pain.
Most of us focus on mopping up the overflow with techniques and tools. Real change happens when we turn down the taps and clear the drain to create genuine safety, not just temporary relief.
What Keeps Smart, Committed People Stuck
1. Mindset Barriers: The "Fix Me Now" Trap
The problem: Approaching recovery with urgency and daily report cards
What happens: Same technique, fueled by panic = threat signals stay high
The shift: Safety is learned through repetition, not daily verdicts
Try this week: Choose one core practice for 14 days minimum. Track consistency and self-compassion, not just pain scores.
2. Lifestyle Load: The Overflowing Foundation
The problem: Trying to heal while drowning in current stressors
What happens: Techniques can't land in a flooded nervous system
The shift: You can't add your way out of overwhelm, you must subtract first
Try this week: Create a Load Map (see Step 2 below) and lower one stressor by 10-20%.
3. Relationship with Pain: Enemy vs. Messenger
The problem: Fighting pain like it's a bully to defeat
What happens: Resistance creates more tension and threat signals
The shift: Meeting pain as a frightened messenger that needs reassurance
New inner dialogue: "I see you trying to protect me. I'm safe right now. We can go gently together."
4. Recovery Expectations: Perfect Progress vs. Real Life
The problem: Expecting linear improvement and having no plan for setbacks
What happens: Normal fluctuations feel like failure, creating doubt, confusion and panic spirals
The shift: Building resilience through Flare Plans and realistic expectations
Reality check: Healing looks like wider windows of comfort and quicker recovery from spikes; not a straight line up.
Your Gentle Action Plan: 5 Steps to Get Unstuck
Step 1: The Safety Reset (2 minutes, multiple times daily)
The Practice:
Soften jaw, shoulders, and belly consciously. Take 3 breaths with exhales longer than inhales. Name 3 safety cues around you (sounds, textures, colors). Set intention: "Curiosity over urgency, kindness over force"
When to use: Before any pain practice, during flares, when you notice tension building
Step 2: Map Your Load (10 minutes, weekly)
Create your personal stress inventory:
Current Life Stressors: Work, relationships, health, finances
Self-Induced Stress: People-pleasing, perfectionism, catastrophizing
Hidden Drains: Poor sleep, lack of joy, suppressed emotions
This week's goal: Choose ONE lever to turn down by 10-20%. Examples:
Say "not this week" to one request
Lower your "good enough" standard for housework
Set a boundary with one energy-draining person
Step 3: Choose Your Core Tool (5-15 minutes daily)
Pick ONE of these evidence-based approaches for the next 4 weeks:
Option A: Somatic Tracking (for pain, anxiety, anger, sadness etc…) What it is: Mindful observation of sensations without trying to fix them "Hello, sensation. I see you. I'm safe right now. I'll watch lightly no agenda, no fixing needed."
Option B: Gentle Graded Exposure (for movement fear)
What it is: Tiny, safe experiments that gradually disprove danger beliefs Example: If bending scares you, start with 2-inch forward leans while breathing calmly and reassuring your nervous system that pain ≠ harm, pain = protection.
Option C: Self-Compassion Practice (for harsh inner critic) What it is: Speaking to yourself like you would a good friend in pain Example: "This is hard. I am here and you’ve got this. You’ve been there before, you can go through this”
Step 4: Change Your Fuel (30 seconds before any practice)
Before you begin any technique, ask: Am I running on fear, frustration, powerlessness or care?
If fear, frustration or powerlessness: Place hand on heart and do a safety reset (see step 1 above)
If care: Proceed with warm curiosity
Remember: The same tool powered by fear, frustration or powerlessness teaches danger. Powered by compassion, it teaches safety.
Step 5: Your Flare Plan (5 lines, memorize them)
When pain spikes, I will:
Pause & Reset (2 minutes of Safety Reset from Step 1)
Name it weather ("This is a storm passing through, not a permanent condition")
Comfort practice (heat pack, gentle music, a bath or any favorite soothing activity for 5-10 minutes)
Lower today's load (cancel non-essentials, ask for help, or choose easier options)
Resume tomorrow (return to gentle normal activities with 20% less intensity)
Ways to Empty Your Bathtub: Open the Drain
Physical Reset: Light movement, pleasurable activities, quality sleep, time in nature
Emotional Regulation: Journaling, therapy, breathwork, creative expression
Nervous System Care: Meditation, somatic practices, relaxation techniques, hypnosis, Yoga
Connection & Joy: Social support, laughter, play, meaningful activities
Stress Reduction: Boundaries, simplifying, saying no, delegating
Start with one. Which feels most accessible this week?
Quick Self-Assessment: Where Are You Stuck?
Check all that apply, then choose ONE to focus on this week:
Tool-chasing: I'm constantly looking for the "right" technique (Focus: Step 3 - Pick one tool)
Urgency fuel: My practice feels desperate or forcing (Focus: Step 4 - Change your fuel)
Harsh inner critic: I blame myself when pain returns (Focus: Step 3 - Option C - Self-compassion practice)
High life load: I'm overwhelmed with daily stressors (Focus: Step 2 - Load mapping)
People-pleasing: I say yes when I mean no (Focus: Step 2 - Boundaries)
No flare plan: Spikes send me into fear, frustration or powerlessness (Focus: Step 5 - Create a plan and memorize it)
Movement fear: I avoid certain activities (Focus: Step 3 - Option B - Gentle graded exposure)
A kind reminder (from one human to another)
Flare‑ups and stuck patches aren’t failures; they’re messages. When you pause and listen, honestly and compassionately, you create the conditions for your nervous system to soften and for healing to resume. What is this moment asking of you? Offer that, without judgement, one breath at a time.
FAQs: Your Most Common Questions
Q: Is recovery from chronic pain linear?
A: Not usually. Most people progress in waves with ups and downs. Aim for wider windows of comfort and quicker recovery times after spikes rather than a straight line upward.
Q: What if my scans show degeneration or disc issues?
A: These findings are incredibly common in people without pain—studies show 60-80% of pain-free individuals have "abnormal" scans. What matters most is how your symptoms behave and respond to gentle, progressive activity. Build new lived evidence with safe experiments.
Q: Should I rest or push through pain?
A: Neither extreme is helpful. Practice supported engagement: small, frequent exposures to feared activities paired with soothing signals and compassionate self-talk. Think "gentle and consistent" rather than "all or nothing."
Q: How long does it take to get unstuck?
A: Timelines vary greatly, but most people notice subtle shifts in weeks of consistent practice. Look for changes in confidence, ease of movement, sleep quality, and how quickly you bounce back from flares; not just pain intensity.
Q: What if I've tried everything and nothing works?
A: Often, it's not about trying more things, it's about changing the how and why behind what you're already doing. Consider working with a practitioner trained in Pain Reprocessing Therapy or somatic approaches who can help you identify what might be keeping you stuck.
Ready for Personalised Support?
If you're tired of feeling stuck and ready for a compassionate, evidence-based approach, I offer one-on-one Pain Reprocessing Therapy within my Hypnotherapy practice.
In our work together, we'll:
Identify your specific stuck points
Design practices that fit your lifestyle
Build your confidence with gentle experiments
Create a personalised flare plan that actually works
(No sales pitch - just clarity on whether this approach is right for you)
